Illusion? Escape? Destination?

Folks is folks the world ‘round. The mores of various social enclaves often telegraph notions of sophistication, naiveté, or inaccessibly exotic cultures to travelers to foreign lands. Our quest for the extraordinary, an escape from the humdrum we know, an escape from a political situation we are uncomfortable with, a draw to a more comfy climate, a useless attempt to escape from ourselves, or simply an inexplicable need to move on propels some of us to relocate to totally alien environments. The reasons people displace themselves to foreign lands are as varied as the individuals themselves.

But how alien is alien? If escape is the motivation, what are we escaping from, what are we escaping to and more importantly, how long can we maintain the illusion that we have escaped anything? Exoticism peels away, layer-by-layer the longer one lives in an alien culture, until the equation of the universal sameness of all humans reveals itself to be the unmistakable core denominator. Escape of any sort is impossible.

Frankly, I don’t know why we moved to Thailand. Perhaps the biggest reason, silly as it sounds, is simply because we could. There was no great economic advantage to the move and we certainly weren’t running away from anything. The US, despite its recent despicable handling of foreign relations, is still the most comfortable and safest country on the globe to live in.

Safety is a powerful word in the US these days. It’s always been a powerful word in every country throughout history, but, until recently, US citizens have enjoyed the feeling of invulnerability and a false sense that it’s borders are protected by its military might and economic dominance. 9/11 changed that in a big way and now, interestingly enough, the entire nation has become paranoid and feels vulnerable. Welcome to the real world. We are all vulnerable to despots, crackpots and seekers of disruption. Technology has made it possible for tyrants to reach any corner of the globe from a computer in a cave. It’s unnerving, of course, but the child’s game, King Of The Mountain, is in play here and what could be more fun than to see the king tremble, even knowing that he can’t be toppled?

But that’s an aside to my topic (I’m trying to nail down the topic as I write; if you haven’t noticed.) We didn’t decide to relocate to Thailand because of fear. Certainly, we have more to fear here than in the US. The simple act of driving to the grocery store is more stressful than navigating the Holland Tunnel on a Labor Day weekend. As in all localities (even in the US) where the have-nots outnumber the haves, you must watch your back and purse. And then, of course, we have the bird flu, tsunamis, malaria, dysentery, humidity, mosquitoes, the common cold and acne to contend with. The fact is… A and I don’t fear anything except the loss of one another and that, unfortunately, is an inevitable future event.

I don’t like the word ‘expatriate’ and I dislike the word ‘expat’ even more. (Hell… even my spell-checker doesn’t like it.) I don’t feel the least bit expatriated from my homeland. Neither am I a true adventurer. The surface of Thailand, molded by centuries of Buddhist conditioning, simply offers an extremely polite environment in which to live. Scratch the surface and one finds the same stuff found in every culture, but I like the very thick surface of Thai morality and politeness – the likes of which I’ve never experienced anywhere else. Perhaps it’s a façade, but it’s a formidable one and that’s what makes this culture so alluring. My western mores welcome and bathe in the illusion of a polite society that respects elders, genuinely atones for transgressions and fears little, because the staunch belief in reincarnation negates the notion of death.

Common sense tells me that the longer I live here, the more I will equate the modus operandi of Thais with all other cultures I’m familiar with, but it hasn’t happened yet. Is it only an illusion? Will the screen go blank at some point? Will the theater’s lights suddenly come alive, make my eyes water, reveal the crumpled candy wrappers, popcorn boxes and wadded bubble gum under the seats?

For now, it’s not an illusion. Thailand is a beautiful country and its political and spiritual history has produced a unique culture. It’s not an escape. It’s a destination.